I… I don’t know why this video disturbs me so terribly. Technically, it’s just a video from the ’70s by some Belgian dude awesomely named Vader Abraham, singing about Smurfs in no officially approved capacity. Nothing really happens other than Vader Abraham and some Smurf puppets “la-la-ing” happily for three minutes. But something… something about this just hurts me, because it feels so, so evil. Maybe it’s the soulless, rubbery Smurf puppets. Maybe it’s the hellish background of flickering lights. Maybe it’s the slow, loving pan over the plastic Smurf figurines, less like a toy collection, and more like a serial killer collects mementos of his victims. Or maybe it’s the way old Abraham holds the tiny flute so the horrible Smurf puppet can wrap its thin, rubbery lips around it and blow.