Wow— just fucken wow – vampire Fleshlight

I am gonna warn you now. the links in this article are not work safe..

500x_vampirefleshlight1-1Yes, that’s a vampire Fleshlight –the “vagina in a can” sex toy used by lonely men whose hands have apparently stopped returning their calls. I admit I’m a bit confused, since although the characters and fans of Twilight love not having sex before marriage, those are 99% girls, right? (I’m not saying there are no male Twilight fans, I’ve just never heard of one). But this — called the Succu Dry, by the way — is clearly for boys with penises. Is this like the self-loathing consolation prize for guys whose girls are waiting to be married to a vampire before they give up the goods? Because that’s pretty fucked up right there. Seems like you’d want the many, many, many non-vampire cans to stick your penis in instead of the vampire one. But I don’t really want to stick my penis into any can at all. Perhaps if I did, I’d have a different perspective on things.

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